


Exactly

by impossible_girl_at_221b



Category: Supernatural, destiel - Fandom
Genre: Castiel has lost his grace, M/M, Omegle Chat, Self Harming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 12:08:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4834757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impossible_girl_at_221b/pseuds/impossible_girl_at_221b
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean finds out about Castiel's scars and how Cas truly thinks about him</p>
            </blockquote>





	Exactly

You: (After Cas lost his grace, please say if reading) The bunker was dark yet he couldn’t sleep, thoughts of dark things filled his mind and he eventually gave up. Cas rolled out of his bed and headed down to Dean’s bedroom and quietly knocked it. “Sorry to bother you, Dean, but I just couldn’t sleep and- and I was wondering if I could lay with you for a while, y-you know just till I fall asleep”  
Stranger: (Reading)  
You: (Thank You!)  
Stranger: Dean was asleep, but hunters who slept deeply ran the risk of sleeping forever. He rolled out of bed when he heard Cas knocking. "Um, yeah, sure, man," he mumbled, blinking tiredly. "Still getting used to the circadian rhythm, huh?"  
You: "Yes, I am finding it difficult, and painful." He scrunched up his face hoping to get rid of a so called headache. "How do you do it?"  
Stranger: "You get used to it." Dean rested a hand on the small of Cas's back. "C'mon, let's get you to bed, Wingless."  
You: "Mmm" Cas mumbled, trying to fight the sleep that was almost conquering his brain. He took one shaky step and his knees almost collapsed beneath him.  
Stranger: "Woah, steady now." Dean wrapped an arm around Cas, propping him up. "Careful, Cas. You can't just mojo away bruises now."  
You: Cas wrapped his arms around Dean and buried his face into his shoulder, while taking small steps toward his bed. He opened his bedroom door and almost fell onto the bed. He slid under the covers and nuzzled his face into the pillow.  
Stranger: Dean climbed in beside him, chuckling. "You're sleeping in tomorrow. Doctor's orders," Dean mumbled.  
You: "But we have a hunt tomorrow" Cas yawned and rubbed his eyes, looking up at Dean.  
Stranger: "And you'll be no good dead on your feet."  
You: "But-"  
Stranger: "But nothing."  
You: "Well then your also sleeping in" Cas said "Please?" He looked up to Dean with his big blue puppy dog eyes.  
Stranger: Dean frowned, pausing for a moment. "...okay. But only so you can get enough sleep."  
You: Cas smiled a little. "Dean, can I ask you something?"  
Stranger: "Sure, anything."  
You: "Why, after losing my grace, do I feel so alone, so empty. So. . . worthless?" Cas felt a tear slide down his cheek, he thought crying was purposeful, he was mistaken.  
Stranger: Dean hugged Cas. It was that, or tell him to man up and deal like everyone else, but Cas wasn't like everyone else. He had been thrust into this lesser state of being, and he was in pain. "You're not worthless, Cas. And I'm not sure how grace works, but I'm sure you had some spiritual network with your buddies upstairs. But you still got me and Sam."  
You: Cas buried himself into Deans chest ."I'm starting to think I can't do it Dean. I've tried doing things to relieve my pain, but they don't work, they just leave scars@  
Stranger: "Cas... have you been cutting yourself?"  
You: "Is that what it's called?"  
Stranger: "Yes, and it's bad, like... really bad." Dean's arms tightened around Cas protectively. "You know you can talk to me and Sam, right? About anything."  
You: "I don't think talking will help." He pulled away from Deans embrace. "I need a distraction, like this" He said holding out his left fore arm showing wide lines of scars trailing almost up to his elbow.  
Stranger: Dean swore, trailing his fingers along Cas's arm. "Cas..." He swallowed thickly. This was all a bad dream.  
You: "What?"  
Stranger: "I... I..." Dean shook his head. Pull yourself together, for Cas, he thought. "This is not the road to salvation." And now he sounded like Cas when they had first met, but he didn't care.  
You: "It relieves the pain, though. The pain that I don't know if I will ever be an angel again. If I will ever get to be back in heaven again. And it relieves the pain of how I love someone and I know they will never love me back." Cas pulled back his arm  
Stranger: "Cas, I know that they're your famioy and all, but the angels are douchebags. Okay? And heaven doesn't deserve to have you. Anyone you love is damn lucky."  
Stranger: Family*  
You: "I don't think your lucky though Dean."  
Stranger: Dean's heart almost stopped, blood thundering in his ears as it rushed to his cheeks. "I don't have a hreat history with luck," he stammered finally.  
Stranger: Great*  
You: "Exactly"


End file.
